Love or Manipulation?

Any woman who has spent time dating will recognize the question behind a recent PBS NOVA program (Season 47, Episode 2) titled, “Do Dogs Love Us or Do They Just Want Treats?” When are we women being used by our romantic partners only to be neglected later? How often have we seen dogs adopted for a purpose ending up being tied into a yard alone in all kinds of weather? Yet those same dogs still run happily to greet them if their owners happen to show up. Unfortunately, research suggests women who are usually excellent at spotting deceit can be readily manipulated—often with lies and material gifts—by someone they love. And sometimes we’re doing the using. Perhaps we women have a great deal in common with the dogs we adore.

According to brain imaging, dogs generally choose the attention of beloved owners over food. They want very much to please their humans so they go to great lengths to learn the antics humans find attractive such as diving, surfing, dancing, guarding, etc. They were almost accidentally bred by humans from foxes for friendliness as proven by a Russian study that selected foxes to be either friendly or aggressive. For most dogs, friendliness is genetic and also a factor of nurture, or how they’re treated. Is the same true for humans? Does stubborn ignorance or hostility run in families? Or would we rather not know that? (By the way, did the Russian scientists eventually euthanize the foxes they bred to be hostile?)

Surprisingly, dogs are better able to identify where to go when the direction is simply a human hand pointing than chimpanzees are. Smarter than chimps? Have we underestimated canine intelligence or misidentified what defines intelligence? We already know all animals are extremely intelligent when we gauge only by the skills they need to survive. Is my clumsy comparison of dog friendliness with natural human female cooperativeness an exaggeration? Have women been selected for friendliness and passive obedience in the past to ensure they were attractive or productive enough to be cared for? Is that evolving with the changing needs of both the world and modern human females?

Extrapolating to parenting, how many modern human parents assume the best behavioral motivator for their children at home and/or in school is a physical reward (treats) such as cash or gifts when love and attention would serve more dramatically? At the urging of corporations that persuade with financial incentives, many schools emphasize student obedience and achievement on objective tests that may or may not reflect critical thinking or practical skills. Objective tests are easy to use and record. But are we ignoring human needs for affection and the development of individual talents and self-awareness to push more bodies through the system to be good workers? Would education be more effective if course design maintained that every person is important as that person was born to be? What would we need to change to leave fewer young people behind?

NOVA suggests we have gained much from our partnership with dogs. Often dogs are our teachers. If we pay attention, we may discover lessons we missed.