Facing the Holidays Without Gramma Who Died

This year you won’t have Gramma (or maybe Grandpa or someone else you loved very much) with you for the holidays.  You can hardly stand to think about it.  Everything seems different, empty.  But your grandma (or grandpa) loved you so very much that she would hate to see you feeling sad.  Some of us think she is someplace where she can see you, but you can’t see her.  In her heart she’s hugging you and trying to help you feel better.  The first thing she wants you to know is that love doesn’t stop.  Even if you can’t feel her hugs (and maybe you think you do!), the love is still there.

Close your eyes and think of her.  You can remember what she felt like, what she smelled like, what her smile looked like.  When you have a good picture of her in your mind, remember what kinds of things you used to do to make her smile.  What if you did some of those things this year?  What if she really is smiling, wherever she is?  What if you talked to her—either out loud or silently in your head—and tell her how much you love her?  Can you almost hear her telling you how much she loves you, too?  Maybe you can make her a very special something—maybe a note or a special treasure you found for her.  That can be your present to her this year—a present you keep in a special place.  I guarantee she’ll like it.

Just trust that love is too big to be stuck in bodies.  It’s too big for death.  You feel bad because there’s a hole in your days.  The hurt will quiet down after a long, long time.  But the love won’t shrink at all.  It will follow you all your life.  Grandma and grandpa love stretches to the universe and even past that.