Healing Together

Being physically broken by my fall has been a boon for me. It’s like walking out of an artificial environment into a dark night away from city lights, and voila! There’s the universe, shining everywhere above, accompanied by the music of crickets, owls, and other unseen life. I stepped out of the ER and expressions of caring bloomed around me, brighter and more colorful than the phosphorescent midnight foliage on mythical Pandora in AVATAR. My husband washed laundry, cooked dinner, drove me to appointments, and tended to our every need. A friend provided energy work to keep me balanced and invigorated. Neighbors checked in and watched over our dogs. Others called or sent texts to cheer and encourage me. My support came from people of other cultures, races, and gender identities, near and far—no strings attached. I didn’t realize so much unsolicited love existed! Apparently, I wasn’t looking or sharing.

We wear dark glasses against the sun, but we’ve inadvertently dimmed the glory of our emotional environment. Some people wear mistrust like a hood over their eyes, allowing themselves to imagine hatred and violence so vividly that they manifest precisely such a world. Some sputter, creating laws against ideas and empathy and even logical healthcare out of fear of losing control. But if you need to use force, you’ve already lost control. You can’t employ discussion or reason because you’ve abandoned both. The fact that we don’t agree proves we’re born to free will, and when we chain people away from free will, they grow feral out of hate for themselves and their hopelessness.

In contrast, when people care about one another, recognizing that we were built in diverse varieties, magic happens. We can’t always produce cures, but we can always realize healing. Love can heal the part of humans that’s far more important than the body. Love houses refugees and defends the wrongly incarcerated and embraces neglected children.  Love is radical enough to stand up to mental illness. The most virulent killer of human beings is loneliness that can be readily defeated by honest caring. Kindness and compassion give life meaning and joy for both giver and recipient.

Hard-working love isn’t cute or sentimental or obligatory. It’s not hollow or mandated or trivial. It’s a powerful beast designed to pick people up and bind them together into an indomitable force. I’m taking the love that has been lavished upon me as I mend my broken bones, looking for ways to send spores of it bursting forward in word and deed—sometimes through far flung healing circles, sometimes through sharing resources. Life is designed for cooperation and exchange. As we give, we see we are worthy to receive. Those who only take reinforce their emotional poverty. There is a secret to joy, and it doesn’t come in a box.