Winners and Losers

Recently, I was watching the playoffs of THE VOICE as the mentors sent home talented person after talented person. Some hopefuls tried too hard. Some didn’t try hard enough. Some arrived on the program too late in their lives.

THE VOICE isn’t the only reality competition show, of course. They proliferated during the writers’ strike. People under stress generate their own drama, no writers required. Overhead can be relatively low. And so people compete in physical contests from the inane to the Olympics, musical contests that don’t necessarily lead to lasting careers, even love contests—if you accept that honest love can be sparked out of image, ego, and greed. A few of the contests require that participants set aside personal dignity or make peace with the fact that their fate hangs on blind luck. Participants in sports often risk their permanent health. We’re assured it’s all good fun. At least it’s all by choice.

When whatever competition nears the brutal end as most candidates are sent home, I can’t help marveling at the number of brave, talented people who have to be moving unrecognized among us daily. Only rarely do the masses appreciate aspirants who reach a level of expertise by unrelenting hard work—unless they’re granted fame. For example, I’m too empathetic to watch maturing figure skaters who never realize their “potential,” who struggle for pain-filled years only to end up falling too many times at the worst moment.

But if we focus solely on people who come to the table with a unique natural talent, we know they often go undetected, as well. How many brilliantly inborn mathematicians couldn’t afford the final rung of education that might have opened doors? How many original minds might have found cures, inventions, or scientific revelations if they hadn’t been discouraged by someone who was utterly lacking in insight? How many fine potentials are twisted into unworthy gutters by unscrupulous manipulators who are intimidated by better minds than theirs?

Facebook posts are riddled with examples of people who managed to defy the odds to change socioeconomic lanes in their lives—not that gaining wealth is always a marker of achievement. However, finding opportunities is easier if the necessities of living can be taken for granted. And so we look around when we’re squeezed into a crowd, wondering what potentials might be hidden there. A composer? An actor? A singing sensation? An insightful judge? An artist? I know of only one person from my original high school class who gained a modicum of fame through sports. How many others might have been lauded if pushed out of the boxes society had prepared for them according to their gender, religion, or family expectations?

How much deep and abiding disappointment simmers in the disquiet? How many have been encouraged to surrender to a life that feels pointless and resentful? Be kind. We’re wading through group frustration. So few realize the power they could wield if they would discover or build a path into possibilities from determined work and self-confidence. Oddly, the students singled out as extraordinary in school are rarely the ones who finally triumph. Perhaps we don’t know what to look for or how to nurture raw talent when we stumble upon it.