Thinking of Now

Life is cumulative, or it should be. Each year we should collect our insights to see what’s new. Before 2023, I had already experienced proof that our bodies and minds work together to run the show, so what we eat and do makes a difference. What I learned is our bodies consist of a number of city-states that can cooperate to keep us well, but they don’t have to. They’re as selfish as we are and when we make self-destructive decisions and choose to pretend our actions have no consequences, our city states can revolt. Like politicians in our national union, our biological systems can work against one another, each trying to dominate. We were built to thrive using free will and cooperation in the midst of diversity, so cells find ways to act out—cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc. We’re reminded of the kid with the video game who insisted we play his way or he’d take his gear home. Suddenly there’s no game. We all lose.

I also learned that rest isn’t an option and it doesn’t happen automatically when we relinquish consciousness. My Tai Chi instructor directed me to take one day each week to do nothing but indulge myself in walks and books, nature and time with my husband, and she isn’t the slow-down type. I was so sure I could soldier through as I always have, but she could see the lines in my face deepening as I lost coordination. My brain was exhausted and started dropping things as I do when I try to carry all my ingredients from the pantry at once. We have limits. We may not know what we’ll drop. It may be a relationship or information we needed. Rest is letting go, taking care of yourself as you might once have cared for a beloved child: encouragement, listening, releasing old problems with no solution. Accept your vulnerabilities and don’t let them run you—which brings me to my third insight:

The best part of aging is realizing it’s time to get real. The size of your gravestone doesn’t determine the quality of your afterlife. Once you can see and love what’s good about being your unique you, you’re free to share. In fact, you must share. If you hoard your talents and rewards, you shrink inside. Remember the city-state concept? We’re all city-states—all the living beings on Earth. We sustain one another. In fact, the world may be a city-state in the universe. In other words, it’s time for us to stop building monuments to ourselves, monuments that won’t mean a thing on our deathbeds. Each of us is a pillar that could support someone else—or many someones—animal, vegetable, or earth system.

Likewise, we must set aside false ego and be willing to humbly accept the support of the pillars around us. A few kind words have been vital to me as I struggled through the past year publishing my fourth novel. I realized that people outside of me can see who I am and why I’m here better than I can. Their faith reminds me that I began writing to provide fresh perspectives for my readers and myself. I just received a royalty check of $3.72. Except that I worry that I’m not reaching the people my novel was meant to encourage, I recall that my success may not be what I imagined. Maybe I already reached the person who needed to read my words. Maybe it was you?

May 2024 cradle you as you evolve and help the world around you to grow more civilized. I’m cheering for us both.