A Simple Renovation

The process began with a missing fume hood and hazardous stick-on floor tiles that weren’t staying stuck in the kitchen. So, we needed better flooring and a hood installation. My husband and I have lived a long time and we no longer need to impress anyone—including ourselves, so we opted to go economical: K.I.S.S.—Keep It Simple, Stupid. But, as all renovators know, the process always starts small and then it explodes until you wonder how you lived with an entire house that looks so shabby or has so many problems. In our first house, a bathroom renovation started with a broken built-in soap dish. You can’t improve one little thing. It’s impossible. Replacing water-resistant wallpaper near the new built-in soap dish nearly cost us our happy marriage. We did it ourselves—all night long.

What we didn’t know until this house was people who live in rural areas a considerable distance from a city have limited options…unless they’re rich. “We deliver!” has boundaries for normal folk. (We assume people with enough money can make anything happen. We aren’t that kind of rich.) To date, we have laminate flooring in two rooms, new kitchen cabinets, new appliances, worn-out patience and dwindling enthusiasm for cooking on hot plates in the basement. People say, “We renovated our house,” when they mean “We paid some people a pot-load of money to renovate our house.” This time, we hired a carpenter and we helped. It’s still taking nearly two months.

Some of the “professional” city people we depended on for good advice didn’t come through—hence nothing is quite what we envisioned. No, normal people cannot have stone countertops if they live rurally—can they? What’s the truth? After two days and four hours of planning, the box store we were using informed their designer that something in our carefully measured cabinet order wasn’t available and never would be, but they couldn’t tell us which item. (Couldn’t tell or what?…they’d have to kill us?) Oddly, neighbors tell you which stores to avoid AFTER you’ve already waded through the mire. Misery needs company? (Thank goodness our carpenter and countertop lady are made of gold and we have dear friends with a trailer.)

The odd thing about renovations is that sometimes (maybe more often than we think), the “new” isn’t as good as the old. For example, our “extra” refrigerator in the basement that we used heavily when our kids and grandkids were eating with us regularly is probably older than our marriage of 48 years. (Remember Montgomery Ward?) We’re told we can expect the new refrigerator to last only eight years. Our new floor is gorgeous—it also highlights any bit of dog hair or dirt that happens by—and when you live on a ranch with dogs, LOTS of dirt happens by daily even if you keep the doors and windows closed. The replacement for the drawer that stuck before sticks again—déjà vu? At least the cabinet’s the right size and devoid of mice—so far.

Just now the country is facing an opportunity to renovate. The trick will be to ensure the NEW AMERICA is at least as good as the “old” one. Mom’s phrase was “throwing the baby out with the bath water.” A government runs like a business using lots of talents—most of whom you can never name. To throw out a government and replace it with known criminals just because you heard criticisms of the head man and you don’t like modern sensibilities can create a new life for you that’s worse than what you have. Be thoughtful about the nature of government—how it involves thousands of people whose moral decisions matter. Which team feels most open to all your needs? Vote carefully. And don’t renovate unless you get a discount at a nice hotel.