The Goodness in People

Can you sense goodness in people? Not the familiarity, the similarity, that makes for comfortable friends, but an indefinable recognition of unconditional warmth, safety, and caring. You may startle to realize it in strangers, including those from cultures we don’t understand. I’m not one who generally knows instantly that I’m confronting someone rare and beautiful. Usually the aha moment comes much later and feels like a shove at my heart. And I’m not always right. People are fluid in different moments.

Regardless of whether you believe humankind was purposefully created, tweaked from other mammals by outside forces, or an accidental consequence of immense time, you know we humans are not all the same. That’s not the nature of our equality. Individuals start from different blocks: Beep, Beep, GO! Some seem to wander aimlessly. Some deliberately select unwholesome corners in which to lurk and negative directions to pursue. And a glorious few emanate the goodness of unconditional love and positivity almost unconsciously. They’re incapable of discriminating against anyone in real distress in spite of what they may say. In a certain sense, we humans begin with roughly equal raw materials, but we use them with hugely varying expertise. Most of us perform lots of trial and error, going this way and then that. A few wanderers suddenly perceive the greater point and join the goodness workers who are already in progress.

I suspect many of us—maybe all?—harbor pools of potential goodness. Those who come from humble beginnings and later become financially comfortable have opportunities to become the benefactors they once wished they could be. Certain entertainers, football players, actors, even some politicians and survivors of terrible tragedies choose to involve themselves in the misfortunes of others where their resources can make a significant difference. Occasionally, they discover they’ve misjudged their own character. They’re more intensely drawn into caring than they expected to be.

Society scoffs at altruism because most don’t see or understand. And truly good people don’t define themselves as heroes—a term that’s often mixed up with power. Goodness doesn’t coexist well with hubris. It’s the voicing of the best of being human, the loving connections between us all. Those who commit charitable acts and then advertise it aren’t sincerely acting to enhance someone else’s welfare. They wear their kind acts like gold stars on homework papers. See what a nice person I am! And they’re quick to explore the tax breaks they’re accumulating. They’re opportunists.

Good people without resources often ferret out ways to express their generous urges. They don’t hesitate to share what they are and what they have with the hurting people nearby. Perhaps most importantly, the truly good people create a loving space around themselves that improves the atmosphere for everyone. They’re accidentally contagious, but they’re still human and vulnerable to dark moments. Outwardly, they may not fit our expectations of an ideal at all.

The rest of us watch and feel and hope we reach similar peaks now and then. The fact that we try speaks well for us and the ones who influenced us. We know humankind has never been entirely loving. We know we’ve been cruel and selfish. But when we meet goodness, most of us recognize it and celebrate that it can survive. I am forever grateful for the truly good people who’ve crossed my path.