Oh That Love Word Again!

Love is on my mind today—especially since we’re past Valentine’s Day and a couple weeks out from my anniversary. Why not write about love at those times? Because love should be like brushing your teeth or defecating or finding time to relax. It shouldn’t be an occasion but a way of life that makes you feel and act better.

We’ve stomped on the word love from so many directions that the word has become ubiquitous to greeting cards. But it’s far more serious. When you truly love yourself, you can heal yourself of injuries and diseases that seem impossible. Your body reacts to your emotions, and it hates negativity and stress. As a matter of fact, I’ve watched stress kill two and maybe three dear friends. It strains your immune system and tells your body that you don’t matter as much as your to-do list. It’s simple biology, but there are limits. As in nature, you can’t count on love always fixing things that are screwed up in order to teach you something.

Lots of people scrunch up their noses when someone says prayer helps. They lump prayer with healing techniques that can be practiced from a distance or with simple touch by people who call themselves healers. Are the doubters right? Rarely. The directed, honest, focused good intentions of friends, family and even strangers send positive emotion through what a friend calls the ether. In other words, good aspirations can support and catalyze other treatment modalities in the immune system, which is generally in charge of your body.

Aside from patients who are experiencing dramatic health challenges, what role does love play? When you extend loving acts to others—even strangers, you feed yourself. You develop community support that works to extend your life. You create a sense of belonging, which you need. Your immune system knows you’re serious about living a good life and tries harder. Look around you at the people who exude caring. Aren’t they a treat to have in your life? You can be someone’s treat.

Love makes that image of yourself you confront in the bathroom mirror avoid being depressing. That’s why elderly people can finally discover who they are when they aren’t primarily sex objects or functional widgets in some organization any longer. Would your life be tremendously improved if you were gorgeous? Research says not in the long run. You would still be you—whether you believe that’s good or not. People who are drawn to you because you’re a hunk will soon get over their admiration if you aren’t a pleasant person.

When you finally learn what it means to love yourself as you are, you’re free to try new things. Of course, trying new things reinforces your brain activity, reassuring it that its health matters. You’re still learning! And when you truly love yourself and value the time you have to live on Earth, you don’t mind so much taking care of yourself. You aren’t afraid to walk away from toxic relationships that sap your strength. You don’t have to make jokes about eating healthy or getting exercise doing something that feels fun. You deserve attention and care.

Love is a way of life. When it’s absent, you hurt. But you can always send it out to anyone nearby or on your cyber-list of friends. You can energize the world around you. Love tends to attract reciprocal affection. I send love to anyone reading this because I like a world with lots of love in it. I’m selfish that way.