Don’t Rain on My Parade

Remember the kids in school who could take the joy out of anything? Bitter and unhappy, they could bully you out of your lunch money, remind you your prom dress was the one on sale because no one wanted it, or tell you the test you finally aced was easy and everyone got good grades. I recall the fun I was having running with my friends around the crest of a snow/ice mound that ringed our school playground when a boy shoved me off the hill onto the pavement. I sprained my elbow and had to go to the doctor.

Well, those kids are grown now and ready to pooh-pooh whatever you love. They’re merely expressing their own emotional poverty, of course, so we can feel sorry for the miserable world where they live every day. I’ve worked with some of them. One lady I assisted was dear and sweet and as smart as anything. Madge taught herself braille and, as the volunteer coordinator of an organization for the blind, translated books into braille for free while assigning readers like me to provide dramatic audible versions of both novels and textbooks so blind kids could keep up and even enjoy high school literature classes. I was delighted. I got to play all the characters in HAMLET by voice! Another woman on staff criticized everything Madge did, reporting her to the director for secretly allowing blind clients to listen to sexy books that weren’t in the proper collection. I hugged the dejected Madge, reminding her that her walking critic must live a dark and dreary half-life to be able to broadcast so much hopeless negativity while Madge shared happiness. My friend smiled and nodded. At an international conference, the national director (who was sightless) reminded us blind men are still men and want the right to entertain their own fantasies. Since then, I hope he would add that blind women are human, too.

As many people decide to spread joy and love going forward into the next few years, starting with the holidays, they’re bombarded by nay-sayers who bristle with nasty comments because they no longer believe caring for others is a desirable pastime. “Different” people are being shoved into isolated categories by those who live far from exemplary lives themselves. Understanding isn’t a goal for them. However, even those who believe their divisive, sometimes hateful attitudes are justified by religion or politics or economics have mellowed somewhat lately. They want to sound like the carols they sing. And when I’m given the opportunity, I hug them. I have to act what I believe or there is no contrast. I’ve made many mistakes over the years, stood up to countless dark attitudes and hid from others. Sometimes, they defeated me. In those instances, no one benefitted. Hate doesn’t build bridges. Other times, we both ended up smiling with human belonging.

I deeply regret the times when I allowed someone else’s negativity to dim my light. And so, I urge anyone reading this, anyone who feels like steel-toed boots have trod over your spirit, to take heart. It’s normal to feel the impact of those boots. I’m not the first to remind you that happiness is the best revenge. Live in full color. Laugh and give and discover compassion. Your health will improve. Love as many people as you can from a distance if you can’t be close. I’ll warn you: the bitter ones may intensify their animosity as they’re poisoned by envy, but you’ll have the energy field of your positivity to sustain you. Eventually, you’ll find others who want to join you in your private reality based on beauty. Some may remember the film LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL or have read THE MEANING OF LIFE. Love is resilience—even in the face of evil. Love yourself for wanting to be better and forgive yourself your mistakes. Do the same for others. Build your own world.